Our collective obsession with shrinking postpartum bodies.

“We’ve all been touched by the idea that our bodies, if they’re built right, are our salvation, our first line of defense, our key to entry.” — Sesali Bowen

My mother-in-law recently shared a story with me about how when she had her first baby (in the late 70s) a friend told her to take up smoking to help her “lose the baby weight”.

Why is the first thing we care about, when someone goes through pregnancy and birth, how quickly they can drop the “extra” weight?

What does that say about our values? 

Our support systems? 

Our priorities? 

When this is the first thing we are concerned about. Where there is so much to be dealt with in that 4th trimester and beyond. Monumental emotional and physical changes. 

While I’ve never been told to take up smoking to shrink my body, I’ve absolutely been bombarded with all the usual postpartum body talk.

• The parent FB groups I’m in inevitably all have questions from desperate moms trying to lose weight - asking the group what’s wrong with them that the weight isn’t budging. (Hint… nothing is wrong with them)

• Pinterest and Instagram ads for quick weight loss cleanses and workout programs that tout their “bounce back” effects for new moms.

• Magazine covers celebrating the mothers who look like they haven’t been pregnant or given birth recently.

Again… why is this something we’re pushing on folks? Why does this hold so much weight (no pun intended) with our culture? 

Why can’t we look like we’ve been pregnant or had a baby? Why is this some sort of failure?

It’s bonkers. There are some really dark things going on in our world right now. Wars. Domestic terrorist attacks on Black people who simply want to buy groceries. Fast fashion clogging up our earth with garbage. Stores running out of formula for babies. Health care being stripped away from the trans community. Schools losing books and the ability to teach children about racism. 

These are the issues I want to keep in the front of my mind. This is where I want to be learning and helping and spending my energy.

How my body will look in a few months once I’m postpartum again really doesn't need to take up any space in my life, mentally or otherwise. ❤️